Amateur BDSM: 6 Tips to Enjoy Bondage Sex

Even though some people still think that captivating their partner is very easy, a bondage session needs a more or less long and good preparation. This sometimes includes a visit to a bondage seminar, in which the participants of experienced bondage artists in the art of the right and accident-free! Shackles are taught.

If you have acquired basic knowledge, then you can start. But right before a session there is also a lot to consider and you should know clearly what is pegging. Take your time and let it take a rest. Disturbances are very unpleasant – and sometimes embarrassing!

Create a pleasant atmosphere and see that the room is not too cold. After all, the session lasts more than five minutes and especially if the partner is tied up naked, he can freeze quickly.

Put your bondage utensils ready and check them again for their suitability. For the seriousness federation do not forget scissors / key! If you work in the dark, you should also prepare a flashlight for emergencies. This is also very useful in the event of a power failure.

Agreed a codeword or – if the partner is gagged – a code character with each other and makes sure that the tied up, the code can also execute in the bondage visible! Finger snapping is rather impractical with thumb clamps, for example.

And not only the codeword, also basic expectations and limits in the game should be discussed in advance. So you avoid that from the desire very quickly frustration or worse. Sometimes like to forget the following: Stay away from alcohol and drugs! Both play partners should be sober and clear in mind. Drugs and alcohol can limit the ability to react, make people insensitive and disturb the perception – not only do they endanger the acting person, they also bring about artistic and emotional enjoyment.

Erotic Percussion Instruments: The Beat Paddle

Under paddle, also known as the English term paddle, percussion instruments are understood with a very wide impacting surface. They are usually made of either leather or wood and the material more or less flexible.

Application of the impact paddle

Due to the large surface, the power of the blow is distributed quite widely and is therefore less intense than, for example, a device that leaves a biting pain through its narrow shape. For this reason, impact paddles are often used to warm up the body surface before whip or cane is used. It is slammed only with moderate force, so that the circulation of the hit area increases. The use of snappier percussion instruments is subsequently much more pleasant. But even with the paddle you cannot handle without hesitation. If it is overheated too often, the tissue and surrounding nerves can be damaged temporarily or even permanently. The region is then hardened and numb. Therefore one speaks also of so-called “Leather butt”.

However, if you take care that your partner does not regularly carry evil bruises from the impact paddle, you can enjoy the pain with relish and without regret. The orgasm control is a sexual variety in which the orgasm is delayed either greatly or where it comes to a very quick satisfaction because unlike women, men can often only come to orgasm once and then need a break. A delay leads to a more intense orgasm.

In principle, one can perform the orgasm control in men and women. It is possible to control, delay, refuse or ruin the orgasm. Special sexual pleasure arises here, when the so-called tease and Denial is applied, whereby it always comes to an increase in pleasure, but the orgasm is not possible.

This is how orgasm control works in men

Mostly, orgasm control works only when the controlled partner is either very disciplined or when he is tied up so that he can no longer satisfy himself if the controlled person reaches the point shortly before the orgasm, usually only a few movements are enough by hand for example on the penis to reach orgasm. Shackles are a practical way to control orgasm.

Recognizing orgasm: In men, you recognize it by the fact that the penis begins to twitch briefly several times. That’s the sign that ejaculation starts right away. To recognize this, you can tightly enclose the penis with your complete hand and notice the twitching. When the time comes, simply stop further stimulation. Alternatively, you can see the ejaculation by the way, by pressing with your forefinger on the dam. This is the area between the scrotum and anus, where the prostate is located. If this area begins to twitch, that is a sign that the orgasm starts right away. Even better is the approaching orgasm when you insert two anal fingers and position them directly on the prostate. If the prostate twitches here, the orgasm begins.

Delaying orgasm: When the point is reached that the man comes to orgasm immediately, simply enclose the glands with your thumb and forefinger and press. As a result, the arousal decreases and the orgasm stop. You do this several times, arouse your partner until just before the climax and then do not let him come. Gladly the break between the masturbation is connected with pleasure pains, which indeed stimulate the controlled, but do not let him come to orgasm.

Ruining Orgasm: This is one of the nastiest forms of orgasm control is the ruining of orgasm. In this case, the controlled is so excited that he reaches the point-of-no-return, so that he will definitely come to orgasm. From this point, the orgasm is unstoppable. If the man is close to his orgasm, it can be ruined so that he no longer satisfies him. For this, the finger must be pressed with high pressure against the dam. As a result, the urethra closes and the seed cannot splash outward. Alternatively, two fingers may be inserted anally and the urethra pressed with the fingers near the prostate. The resulting effect is identical.

Orgasm refuse: Even meaner is to refuse the orgasm completely. So the orgasm is constantly delayed, but ultimately there is no ejaculation. Instead, the penis is locked in a chastity cage, so that masturbation is not possible.

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Beginners’ Guide to Bondage Sex

Bondage is not equal to bondage. The artful bondage has a variety of intentions and there are countless bondage types as well as very different techniques and bondage positions. Torture Bondage, Ornament Bondage, Hogtie, and Spread Eagle and more – sexologists explain the most important bondage positions and how to prepare for anal sex.


The bottom is on the belly, wrists and ankles are tied behind the back. The bound wrists and ankles are also joined together. Slow down and let the connection between hand and foot last longer, so as not to risk any back damage.


When frogtie the legs to the ankles are tied to the thigh, whereby a frog position is obtained. The wrists in turn are fixed on the outside of the leg restraints of each side or behind the back.

Spread Eagle

In this bondage position, the bottom is attached to the back or abdomen, all fours at four separate points. The finished Spread Eagle looks like a big X from the top. BDSM pros practice the Spread Eagle while standing, for example at a St. Andrew’s cross.


The wrists are tied behind the back and pulled up with a rope. The rope is attached to the ceiling. The feet stay on the ground. This position is only for bondage pros and should only be done under guidance or in a professional studio. Shoulder injuries threaten.


The arms are connected on the back. The rope is tied around the upper body (above and below the chest) around the back. People with shoulder problems should rather delete this position from their repertoire. Not everyone is so agile to stay in this attitude!

Bondage species

To bind each other and thus a clear power gap between bondage artist (“Rigger”) and the submissive partner (“Bunny”) cause, is a popular erotic game. But what do the shackles actually do and what do they serve? Here you can distinguish three main groups:

When Zweck bondage it is simply a matter of making motion inability , it is also called Nutzsbondage . Knowledge of special knotting techniques and special bondage tools are unnecessary. The goal is to fix the sub quickly and appropriately.

Torture bondage, on the other hand, has the intention of forcing the bottom into an uncomfortable or painful situation as possible – e.g. as a punishment in the context of a punishment game. Incidentally, sexual intercourse does not necessarily have to be part of a bondage session, but sex can happen.

Especially nice to look at – which in this case is the purpose – is the so-called Zierbondage. Here aesthetic aspects are in the foreground. Above all, the bondage should look good and only secondarily limit the bottom. Often ornamental bondage is worn to emphasize certain body parts or as a “costume” at fetish parties.

In addition, the artful Japan Bondage (Shibari or Kinbaku called) to distinguish us from the usual bondage. This is a captive art from Japan. The aim is to connect the body and the ropes to an aesthetic and harmonious unity. A power gap between active and passive part is not always available, so you can face the fetters as equal accomplices.

Bondage techniques

Bondage distinguishes between basic techniques. In addition to the tying of arms and legs, there is the spreading apart (e.g. with a spreader bar) and the tying of objects such as on the bedpost or the chair. Again, caution is advised as the joints can be affected.

A popular technique is winding bondage. Here, individual body parts or even the whole body are wrapped. With ropes creates a great pattern, but it is also used for cling film – but attention: A heat accumulation under the airtight material can be dangerous. Real BDSM poker pros practice among other suspension bondage, so the hanging of the body. However, this requires detailed knowledge of human anatomy, experience and special devices (hooks in the ceiling, beams, etc. Do not try this at home!

The bondage beginner box

The little bondage boxes by Amorelie offers everything you need for the beginning: a blindfold, a high quality bondage rope and a nice leather whip. The perfect launch package for your entry into the exciting and wicked world of bondage!

Rope set by kink

The beautiful set Trap me, consisting of 2 bondage ropes in black and red, by kink promises naughty and versatile fun. Whether bondage newbie or already experienced, the rugged but skin-friendly ropes provide countless opportunities for fetters.

Shackles and handcuffs

Handcuffs add variety to your love life. Synthetic leather hand and ankle cuffs are particularly suitable for first bondage games because the material does not cut into the skin. Once you are tied up, the exciting adventure of domination and submission can begin.

BDSM practice ideal for beginners

If you have always been a bit adventurous in the bedroom or curious about different preferences, maybe I have the ideal BDSM practice for you. This sex practice is commonly referred to as Tease & Denial and is considered a collective term for sexual games that increase the excitement and intensify, but without reaching an orgasm.

What is Edging & Blue Balls?

The partner again and again to stimulate until it is close to orgasm and then stop is often referred to as edging. In men, such a scenario often results in the withdrawal of the so-called pleasure drop, which is then called an edge. Through this targeted stimulation and subsequent refusal, it is also common in men to an increased blood supply to the penis and testes. This can lead to a bluish discoloration of the testicles – so-called blue balls. At the same time, the increase in pressure can cause pain.

How long this technique is performed and how often the orgasms are denied differs from couple to couple and is not subject to any requirements. Sexual practice is often associated with the area of ??BDSM, especially female dominance, and is part of orgasm denial, chastity, or penis and testicle torture. This is often about the feeling of sexual frustration, because you cannot reach orgasm, which breaks down the sexual tension. In general, this BDSM practice is about power and powerlessness. While the active partner is aroused, stimulated and controlled, the passive partner is at the mercy of the active one.

BDSM practice ideal for beginners

Tease & Denial is ideal for beginners because the intensity and length can be adjusted individually. So you can just feel your way slowly and try out, whether such a technique you like or not.

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Know about the ancient vibrators and its origin

He does not complain about long working days and is always there for you if you need him. Of course we are talking about the vibrator. If you think of a vibrator, then you think of pleasure. Yet our quivering friend is not originally invented for pleasing the woman. We investigated the history of the vibrator.

The origin of the vibrator lies thousands of years ago in ancient Greece. Historically, the story begins with the term ‘womb fury’, which literally means uterine frenzy. In the fifth century BC, Hippocrates described the female condition Hysteria. Hysteria was characterized by nervousness, fluid retention, insomnia and lack of appetite. According to Hippocrates, this was caused by an irregular flow of blood to the uterus (the hysteria). Today we describe this as ordinary sexual frustration.

Orgasms on doctor’s prescription

According to Hippocrates, the remedy for these “serious psychological symptoms” resulted in a vaginal massage with paroxysm. Yes, you read that correctly: paroxysm. Because everyone knew that women were not able to experience sexual feelings, let alone peroxide; an orgasm! Greek physician Galen proclaimed: “arising from the touch of the genitals that the remedy requires, follow muscle twitches that go hand in hand with pain and pleasure at the same time. From that time on, the woman was freed from all the evil she felt. This massage, however, should only be given by doctors, because masturbation was then still out of the question. You can imagine that many women were walking around with Hysteria, so the doctors had to roll up their sleeves. In some women it took longer before they reached paroxysm. Annoyed doctors complained about the duration of the treatment; moreover, they found that the treatment of this condition lay well below their respectable profession. They got lame hands. So something had to be found on this.

Blow off steam for a moment

Because it is common knowledge that men know what women want the first vibrator was designed by a man. American George Taylor came in 1869 with the first steam-powered vibrator on the market. He baptized her: the Manipulator. The manipulator was a kind of table with a hole for the female pelvis. A vibrating roller, powered by steam power, did the hard work. Not the sexiest image you can think of, but the beginning was made.

Rather than the iron

The evolution of the vibrator within the technological revolution speaks volumes about the priorities of man. At the end of the 19th century, more and more electronic devices appeared in households. First there was the toaster, followed by the sewing machine, the kettle and the fan. And which household appliance appeared fifth on the market? Funny fact: this was 10 years before the invention of the electric iron and the vacuum cleaner!

Around 1900 the vibrator became available to the consumer. In 1920, even more vibrators were sold than toasters. However, the rise of pornography in the 1920s caused the fall of the vibrator in the respectable society. The vibrator played a big role in these films which gave them a bad image. The taboo was born. The vibrator disappeared for almost 40 years from the general street scene. She was still available, but was offered for example as a ‘neck-massage device.

The sexual revolution

The feminist movement of the 60s and 70s brought the vibrator back into the picture. Suddenly the vibrator was more than vibrating medication or a porno-attribute: suddenly she was a political symbol. After this sexual revolution in the 70s there was more open talk about the vibrator, but after the sexual emancipation of the 80s she came out of the taboo. The new generation of vibrators is made from a female perspective. Because we secretly know ourselves the best that we like best.

The vibrator is happily becoming the most normal thing in the world again. Diamonds are a girl’s best friend was said when the vibrator could only be put in the bedside table. Diamonds are fun, but you do not deliver orgasm.The birth of the vibrator is not exciting, horny or glamorous. The electric vibrator was invented to treat hysteria. The name of this ‘disease’ comes from the word ‘uterus’, which means womb. In the 19th century people thought that hysteria in women was linked to sexual frustration.

Orgasm therapy

What is now called an ‘orgasm’ was therefore a treatment against nerve crises, insomnia, bad mood or depression. So it had nothing to do with sex.

The origin of the vibrator is in ancient Greece. As early as the fifth century BC, the female hysteria condition was described by Hippocrates. Hysteria was characterized by nervousness, fluid retention, insomnia and lack of appetite. According to Hippocrates, this was caused by an irregular flow of blood to the uterus, the hysteria.

According to Hippocrates, vaginal massage with paroxysm was the solution to the problem. However, this massage should only be given by a doctor. Problem was that doctors found this remedy very annoying. Bringing women to orgasm sometimes took a long time and not all physicians had the required perseverance and patience. Moreover, it was not profitable for the doctor because they had to serve many patients for a good income. That had to be different.

A powerful water jet did the trick much faster. That is why the basin shower was used in the 19th century. It consisted of a large tube through which water was pushed through with force and was aimed at the clitoris. This was claimed to result in orgasm within 4 minutes. If this treatment was not available, medical staff also advised rickety trains, rocking chairs or horseback riding.

Since, however, it was assumed that 75 percent of the female population was chronically hysterical; a less cumbersome device had to be provided. The solution was provided in 1875. Steam power ensured that the “Manipulator” could be used. This looked like a table with a hole for the female pelvis. A vibrating roller, driven by steam power, did the hard work. But like the basin shower, this device was not suitable for the doctor’s treatment room.

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